SO FAR AWAY

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Originally uploaded by msgorgeous.

Last night, my friend Rina and I were texting each other. She told me that it was so chaotic in Manila, and in fact there was something going on in Makati at that moment. She was stranded in Xavier (I guess due to traffic? Re-routing? Transport strike?) but luckily her brother was able to fetch her. I quickly texted my mom, who always knows what is going on. She said the GMA Resign movement was gaining support. "Please go to inq7.net" were my mother's instructions.

This morning, the obedient daughter that I am, I went to the Inquirer website, which had to revert to a low-graphic version of its site due to the volume of visitors to their page. I can imagine that every single Filipino who is overseas is constantly checking their site for updates! I cried as I read the news stories. I cried, as a mother cries when she sees her child do something wrong. This so-called democracy that we have, I was one of those who risked my life to put it into place. I was one of those who fought to put President Arroyo into power, even if I did not fully believe in her. I feel so sad, betrayed, disappointed, and in despair. Was everything we did during those two bloodless revolutions all for naught?

Nakakabwisit na talaga ang mga nagpapatakbo ng Pilipinas! Wala nang inisip kundi ang mga sarili nila! Di na ba sila nahiya sa mga taong nagsakripisyo para sa kanila? Wala ba talaga silang paki sa Pilipinas? Di na baling mabulok siya, basta sila, busog ang kanilang mga tiyan at bulsa?

I refuse to believe that the Philippines cannot produce a strong, credible and righteous leader who can lead the country out of its misery. The problem is, the existing structures will not allow this person/people to emerge. The existing structures are there to allow corruption and nepotism to be used at a maximum by the people in power. It sickens me. It disgusts me. I really cannot imagine any solution to the present crisis that we are in. I really feel I have given up on the existing system. I feel it is time for something new. Of course I have not studied sociology or political science and what I am suggesting may be tantamount to dooming the country to suicide, but that is my amateur opinion on the matter.

I also shed a tear this morning because never have I felt so far away from the Philippines as I do now. If I were there, I would surely be in the thick of things. If I were there, I'd probably be tagging along with my mom to whatever masses or gatherings there would be. And now, I have to content myself with going to the Inquirer website, and trying to access the GMA video (which I cannot for the life of me figure out). Last night, Edge's bid to have TFC installed in our house gained ground as we sat in bed, hungry for news about Manila.

Although I have left the Philippines, my love for her has not diminished. I am, and always will be Filipino. I always tell my kids, "You are not Aussies! You are Filipinos!" I hope that by exposing my kids to a better life, to a system that works better than the one we have in the Philippines, they would one day go home to the Philippines and apply things that they have learned over here. Maybe they can come up with a better way when they grow up. I realized that if I kept them in the Philippines, all they would know would be a corrupt and inefficient way of running the country. (I'm sure there is also corruption here in Australia, but at least most of the things around here work!) I hope I will be able to instill in my children a passionate love for the Philippines, strong enough for them to want to do something for her one day when they are old enough.

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas! God save the Philippines!