PHENOMENAL WOMAN

These past few days, I have been watching my dear, much-younger-than me cousin, saying goodbye to her husband. Her husband, who is more or less the same age as she is, has been in a nursing home for the past 20 months, and in and out of the hospital during that time. He's had 4 bouts of pneumonia this past year and doctors say that this last one has weakened him so much. They say it's just a matter of time. Her husband is conscious, but cannot speak, and cannot move.

When Edge, the kids and I got to the hospital, she wasn't there yet. Her brother was there, looking like it was his own brother that was lying in the hospital bed attached to machines. He sadly told us of his brother-in-law's condition, saying he knew a lot of people who deserved what his sister's husband was going through.

Then all of a sudden, I don't know why, I was left alone in the ICU room with my cousin's husband. I felt uneasy, because actually, this was my first time to meet him. I gently spoke, introducing myself. Thankfully, after I said those words, some people came into the room.

After a while, my cousin literally burst into the room, full of sunshine, with her kids who were equally as boisterous as their mother. She immediately went to her husband's bedside and greeted him with a warm kiss, hug and a soft whisper to his ear. Since there were now about 8 people inside the ICU (only a maximum of 4 are allowed) I offered to take the kids outside to see their cousins (my kids). We found them in the hospital lobby. Can you imagine, 5 kids, with ages ranging from 2 to 6, running around the lobby, screaming, chasing each other and throwing flying kicks and punches.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with my cousin. It was a heart-wrenching afternoon for me. We spent most of our time away from the hospital room, having talks in the car in between errands. She talked about how much she loves her husband and how sometimes she still cannot believe that this is actually happening to them. She says she still hopes to wake up and find that this is all a dream. When we got back to the ICU, she went straight to her husband's side and greeted him warmly. She just stood at his side, held his hand and looked at him quietly, and lovingly.

Just being in her presence, I could feel all the love inside of her, waiting to explode. She just has so much love for her husband, that I can imagine it just hurts her so much. I thought to myself, how lucky this man is, to have a wife who loves him so completely and unconditionally.

I left her at 5 pm because I had to pick up Wigi from daycare. In the car, I just felt so sad. I don't mean to thrive on someone else's pain, especially someone close to me but being with her on those two occasions made me realize how privileged I am to have my family intact, and filled with so much love for each other. Driving home, I tried imagining what it would be like if something like that happened to Edge. Would I be able to show as much faith in God as she has? Would I be able to show Edge as much love and devotion as she has shown her husband? Would I be able to be as strong for my kids as she is for hers? She is only 26 but she is forced to make decisions such as what color her husband's coffin will be, all on her own. I know that at any age, a decision like that can be devastating, but even moreso at her age when most women are just starting their own marriages. I'm glad I was with her when that happened.

My cousin told me that she and her husband have had their share of marital problems but they were able to overcome these hurdles before he got sick. I have often wondered how she can care for her husband with so much devotion if he had hurt her so much in the past. It made me realize what a pittance my situation is compared to hers, and look at how graceful she is dealing with hers. I keep complaining about every little thing, getting depressed over nothing, and here she is holding her head up high and proudly fighting for the love that she and her husband share. I really truly admire this cousin of mine. Makes me realize what a brave and proud lineage I come from. Nasa lahi talaga namin iyan. And I say this without making yabang or anything like that. The women in our family truly are strong, passionate and loving people. I am proud to be counted among them!