CHRISTMASES ARE THE HARDEST TIME

This is already my third Christmas in Australia but this is the first time that I have felt the "Miss Kita Kung Christmas" feeling.

My first Christmas, I guess I was still feeling quite numb, and still quite bewildered I guess, so although I felt sad that year, I was not yearning for a Pinoy Christmas.

My second Christmas, Mom, Pop and Gogi were here, so there was no "Ang Disyembre ko ay malungkot" in the air. It was great -- we did all the usual stuff - we baked Abu's Christmas cookies on their first few days here. They brought the Christmas CDs that we used to listen to in our youth. Mom made lasagna for Noche Buena. It was just great.

And now, my third Christmas, here I am fighting off the Christmas blues. I think a lot of it also has to do with the fact that we are going home soon, but not soon enough. We won't be spending Christmas in Manila, but I guess if you think about it, December 25 isn't the actual day Christ was born. It was just a date designated by the church, right? Or whatever. Christmas is in the heart. Sabi nga nila, "araw-araw ay magiging Pasko lagi" or something to that effect.

But I am so glad to be going home. It is really time to go home. Time to face some of my demons. Time to face my angels as well. Time for a reality check. Now is the time for me to see where I really belong and where I want to go.

In the meantime....

Ang Disyembre ko ay malungkot....
pagka't miss kita...

Paskong sasapit di ko mapigil ang mangulila.....
Boo hoo hoo hooo!!!!!!

ha! Tama nang senti trip! Can't wait to go home!