HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!

SOME THINGS I GOT FROM MY MOTHER (aside from the stunning good looks of course!)

My mother is probably the farthest thing from anyone's idea of a typical mother. And I mean that in a good way. When I meet Filipinos here, they always tell me to petition my mother so that she can come and take care of the children. An image comes to my mind, of Mom with her face showing incredulousness -- "Don't even think about it!"

I imagine her face would look something like this

I cannot ever imagine her being retired. I imagine she would go nuts if she didn't have any work to do. She feels lost when her cell phone is more than 5 meters away from her. She feels tragically disconnected from the world when she has no access to e-mail. But that's her. That's my mudda.

I cannot think of a more distinguished woman than my mother. Her passport would put Angelina Jolie's to shame. She has been to so many countries around the world that I have lost count. She has at least one valuable contact in each country, such that, if she were forced to uproot and live in that country, she could build up a whole new network of people and go on with her life there. She has been involved in so many noteworthy causes in her lifetime -- press freedom, human rights, the peace process -- all these lofty ideas were normal everyday words in our vocabulary as we were growing up.

I remember when I was in grade school and there were still no computers then, my mom would pay me to type her articles at one peso per page. Not bad for a little schoolgirl who typed with only her right pointer finger. That experience not only trained me to type fast, it also exposed me to what good writing is, gave me a crash course in understanding proofreading symbols, and opened my mind to hte issues my mom was writing about.

I remember she had one article which was entitled "Breast is Best"(or something like that). I think it dealt with some expose about Nestle and how much more superior breast milk is, I'm not sure anymore. But the main idea that breastfeeding was the ultimate in providing nutrition to your baby stuck through all these years that when it came time for me to have my own children, breastfeeding was not a choice, it was the only option for me.

Mom also brought me to so many rallies during my childhood. I remember being thrilled to come within a few meters of people whose names I had read in the papers. I was in awe of all these people whose names and faces would make it to history books in a couple of decades. I felt privileged to be close enough to the stage to see the sweat on the brows of the rally leaders. But aside from my brushes with celebrities, bringing me to rallies opened my mind to the injustices happening in the Philippines and taught me to fight for what I believed was right. (Kung hindi tayo kikilos, sino ang kikilos? Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?)

One particular rally that stands out in my mind is one that called for the release of all political prisoners, a cause that was close to my heart because my maternal grandparents were held in Bicutan for bombing buildings and doing other subversive activities (my poor, frail Abuelita? Blow up buildings? How preposterous! Now that is another blog entry altogether!). I was honored when I was asked to carry a sign that bore the title of the mini-tableau being dramatized behind me. My sign said "Electric Shock". I never got to see what exactly they were acting out, but I still remember very clearly what was being said:

NARRATOR : ....at kinuryente ang kanyang titi....!!!
PRISONER : .....aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr......!!!! (moaning in pain)
NARRATOR : .....at kinuryente ang kanyang dede....!!!!
PRISONER : .......aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr.......!!!!! (moaning in pain)

I think my exposure to rallies, Bicutan, meeting political prisoners and getting to know them on a personal level, interacting with their spouses and children and imagining the suffering that they were going through, made human rights, oppression, dictatorship and all those other catch phrases at that time very real and concrete for me. We weren't just fighting for ideals, we were fighting for real people.

Then there were the "usual" topics that motherhood covers. She was not like some of my friend's mothers, who were quite conventional in their ways of thinking.

She always, always, always welcomed all my friends to our house. She never raised an eyebrow even when my male friends would sleep over with the rest of the barkada. She said she would feel better knowing that we were all safe in her house, then somewhere out there doing God knows what. Our house was always the club house, the place where people knew they were welcome.

Every New Year, my Mom would encourage (sometimes resorting to brute force!) me to drink some form of alcohol. In her view, she preferred that I experimented in the presence of people I could trust so that I knew my limits when I went out and did God knows what. Much to her dismay, I never did develop a liking for any alcoholic beverage. Some people say my mother's liberal-mindedness is wasted on me!

She told me that if I ever got pregnant as a teenager, she would not allow me to get married. However, if the guy could wait until I turned 21, then she would give her blessing. She told me that those marriages hardly ever worked out. Again, another lesson wasted on me, as I had my first boyfriend when I was 20. (hahaha)

She also introduced me to the radical and subversive-thinking Jesuits. One day, she came home raving about this Jesuit she had met. She had invited him to dinner, his name was Fr. Tanseco. She marvelled at his way of thinking because he went against many of the practices of the church which she felt were outdated.

Mom also taught me to be generous. Mom is the epitome of PAGIGING BUKAS PALAD. To give until it hurts. When we found out that Bobet, our beloved majordoma had breast cancer, she used her connections to find people who could help her out -- doctors, support groups, charities and charitable people who could help pay for her treatment. She stuck with Bobet until the end. Bobet died in our house after giving most of her life to us. Mom always said that with her busy schedule, she could never have raised Gogi and me on her own. Bobet was always there to support her.

When Eva, Bobet's sister, suddenly gave birth (how dense were we not to notice that she was pregnant?), the first thing the family did was to welcome the baby (now Christopher, aged 13) into the family and insist that Eva stay on with us. Eva still lives with my mom, along with her husband and 3 children.

And of course, she has her grandchildren. Diego and Luis both think their Lola is top banana! Lola is the source of all information. Lola confirms if the stories their Mama tells them is true or not. Diego is especially close to his Lola. He says Lola is one of his most favorite people in the world. Every night, Diego prays for his Lola's safety. Why do they adore their grandmother so much? My mom doesn't spoil them, but I think they know that in their Lola, they have found unconditional love.

Here are a few more things that I have picked up from her, some of which I think have been handed down through the generations:

1. "PUUUUUU--------NYETAAAAAAAAA!!"
When my kids hear me say this, they know I'm REALLY angry!
2. Shouting
I know I picked this up from my mom. I hear Tito Jim do the same thing too. I know Abu used to do this as well. It's genetic!
3. Useless worrying
Mom told me recently that she didn't enjoy the movie CARS because all she could think about during the Piston Cup was how much traffic there would be on their way home! (I have many similar worries, to which Edge tells me, "It's only a movie!"

Edge will tell you there are so many more things he thinks I have picked up from Mom (now THAT would make an interesting read!) but I have said this before, and I will say it again. All that I am, I owe to my Mom. She shaped me, molded me and made me what I am today. (So blame her for any factory defects!) She is my role model, my pillar of strength, my inspiration.

I love you Mom! Happy 60th birthday! We all love you!