GOODBYES

Last night, I attended the wake of my cousin, Chinny's husband, Isaac Jerome Robillo III. Chinny is usually a very bubbly person. Even on the numerous occasions when the doctors said Jerome was about to go, she always managed to put on her Julia Roberts smile, crack jokes and laugh her boisterous laugh. These days, she tries hard to keep up that image, but she is having a very difficult time doing so.

In her eulogy last night, she said that Jerome was her soul mate. She described him as "the most magnificent man I've ever met". She even apologized to all the males in the audience, but that even if we put together all their good qualities, it wouldn't even amount to a quarter of Jerome's positive traits. LIstening to Chinny talk about Jerome was like a roller coaster ride. She'd crack jokes one minute, then break out into tears in the next. And everyone in the audience would cry along with her. She said that when this sickness first hit the fmamily two years ago, she was so distraught that she prayed to God to take her as well, because she could not imagine life without Jerome. She did not know what she would do, as he was always there to take care of her. Today, she says she still does not know what to do, but she has learned that she just has to accept whatever God has planned for her. It was heartbreaking to watch her talk about her husband.

Jerome's father, Tito Dodong, also gave a heartfelt speech on his first born son, his junior. He did not prepare anything, everything he said came from the heart. I was especially touched by his speech because you could just see on his face that he loved his son very much. Here was a man, an important man, brought to his knees by the death of his son. And he was brave enough to show his grief in front of about a hundred people, many of whom he did not know. What I found most comforting was when he said that he actually felt relief when Jerome died. He acknowledged the suffering of Chinny and the kids, and said that he was glad that their suffering would be over, as well as Jerome's. Tito Dodong said that when Jerome first got sick, he sought comfort in the Bible and somehow was led to the passage that said, "His illness will not result in death." He asked God if this was his mesage, that Jerome would come out of this whole again, and thus, he clung to this "promise". But now that Jerome has passed away, he questioned himself. Did he read more meaning into the passage than what was intended? Did he choose to believe what he wanted to believe? Did he completely misread the message? And after reflecting on it the past few days, he said that he finally understood the message. Jerome's illness has not resulted in death, because he is now in heaven with God. If I may add to his insights, I feel Jerome's spirit will live on, for one, because Chinny's love for him is so strong. His children will always know him as the thoughtful loving husband to their mother, and the caring father that he was to them. The children will be told over and over again how he fought to get better, and would not leave this earth until he had said goodbye to them. Their story is the stuff movies and great love stories are made of.

Mari (Chinny's kuya) put it so aptly in his eulogy. Chinny and Jerome have been a source of inspiration to many people who have been a witness to their love. They have shown people what true love is all about, what unconditional love is all about. That making a sacrifice comes so naturally when you do it out of a great love. That faith in God really gets you through dark forests and steep mountains.

Jerome's burial is tomorrow. The ninth day of prayer is on Saturday. Sunday is the beginning of the rest of their lives, which is actually the hard part. I hope to be able to be there for Chinny and the kids. I have started by promising Chinny a batch of Strawberry Squares (her favorite). Please say a prayer for Chinny, Jerome, their kids Sophie (6), Miggy (4), Josh (2 1/2, who is oblivious to everything that is happening and is a source of comic relief for everyone). Please include Tito Dodong and Tita Baby (Jerome's parents), Nitoy (Jerome's brother, who looks very much like him), and all the other family members that I do not know. With God's help, they can all start to build a new life, and move on from here.