ALL BY MYSELF....

Don't wanna be....all by myself anymore....

I think this is the song that Alma Moreno was singing on her show "Loveli-ness" when Dolphy left her for Zsa Zsa Padilla many years ago. She was looking straight at the camera and tears kept streaming down her cheeks. I remember thinking how pathetic she looked, I wanted to tell her, have some pride woman!


But here I am today, singing the same song and breaking into tears ..... WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! By this time tomorrow, I will be all by myself. Luis will be in daycare, and Edge and Diego will be flying somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. WAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! I am so tempted to just jump on a plane with Luis and fly back to Manila. This is the first time that our family will be apart for this long. The longest Diego and I have been apart was for a week 2 years ago when he and Edge visited his Lolo and Lola in Zamboanga. Just thinking about spending 30 days apart makes me want to break into tears, looking just as pathetic as Alma Moreno did way back when.






It's not only the physical distance and the amount of time that I have between me and two of my most beloved males in the universe, it is the stress of being a single parent in Australia (translated into layman's terms: walang yaya!) Just thinking about my schedule next week is enough to make me want to throw the towel in. Picture this. I have a 5 day training in a hotel in Sydney next week. Since Edge is not here, I have no one to look after Luis. Originally, I was going to ask Tita Reggie to include him in her "Lola daycare centre", but it's going to be too complicated getting Luis there first thing in the morning, and making it to the city before 9:00. I can't take the car because parking in the city is super-duper-mega-out-of-this-world expensive ($24 a day, for 5 days), and the department will not reimburse me for parking, but they will reimburse me for taking a train. So, I will put Luis in daycare. Which is just as expensive, and I have to pick him up by 6 pm, otherwise, I have to pay an overtime fee of $20 for every 15-minute period that I pick him up after 6:00. Luckily this month, there are 3 holidays (Good Friday, Easter Monday and ANZAC day) so I will be saving on some days instead of having to put him in daycare.

I think it's also the sheer loneliness, and the feeling that I'm all alone here in Sydney. I've always felt that, but since the four of us were complete, it didn't seem to matter so much. But knowing that if I really, really wanted to see Edge and Diego, I'd have to take a 24 hour trip, only serves to magnify the solitude I feel. Who will I winge to at night, when I come home from work? Wigi will just look up at me and smile his crazy smile and make me laugh. Who will cook us meals? The only meals I can reliably make are lasagna, some pasta dishes, and chicken ala king! (At least sosyal di ba?) Wigi, looks like we'll be having a lot of KFC, Domino's pizza, and Chinese take-out from the Village Centre!

But Diego is counting the hours 'til his departure. He can't wait to get away from his younger brother, and away from constant fighting. But if I know, he will miss his brother. They play with their Transformers and Sonic and Lego everyday and have private jokes that only the brothers can understand. Wigi told us this morning that he's going to miss his brother.

This is Diego's Year 2 picture. Bagong gupit kaya medyo maiksi. Pero gwapo pa rin!

I plan to do a lot of overtime while they're away so I can have some hours reserved for flex leave when they get back. Hopefully time will fly faster than usual. Horrors, I just realized I'll have to do EVERYTHING by myself -- wash dishes, wash clothes, go to the grocery, cook for Wigi, EVERYTHING! But the good thing is, I have the car all to myself, and Wigi and I share a favorite pastime -- shopping-shopping! And Wigi and I have a date on April 11 - we will watch Ice Age 2!

It will be nice not to hear fighting voices early in the morning, and not have to wait to use the bathroom. Our good friend from Xavier, Rey Aude, is coming next week. I hope to see a lot of him this month. Oli also promised me a Holy Week recollection. Yes, time will fly. Hopefully faster than a speeding bullet!