ON THE WARPATH

This is the absolute last time that I am going to write a blog entry that bares my heart and soul. I keep forgetting that blogs are open to anybody in the world so I have to restrain myself in the future and just go back to writing in my diary when I have sama ng loob and hinaings.

Like I said in a previous blog entry, this is my personal space and within this space, it's my rules that are followed. Before, I said if you don't like what I'm saying, or you're getting fed up with my whining, then DON'T READ MY BLOG!!! I am not after the numbers, I don't care if nobody reads my blog, I am just expressing myself. At this point in time, I just don't feel like doing the mature and enlightened thing of accepting all points of view. I'm tired and lonely and do not want to receive anything that is not supportive. Again, I am feeling bugbog and kawawa so unless you are going to sympathize with me, stay away!

I really hate it when people comment about things I say when they do not know where I am coming from. That really makes my blood boil. Nakakainis when they talk as if they know what I am going through, because they may have gone through a similar experience in the past. But similar does not mean equal, OKAY???? I may bare a lot in my blog entries, but I don't tell all, I keep a lot of things for myself so nobody can ever, ever, ever, judge me because they don't have the whole picture. Nobody -- not even my parents, not even Edge, not even Gogi, these are the people who know the most about me, but still they do not have the whole story -- so nobody can put me into a box!

When I started this blog, I was hesitant to go full blast because I didn't want to subject people to my depressing thoughts. But then I thought nga, this is my space, bahala sila sa buhay nila. Pero hindi pala. Naaapektuhan din ako. So, to save myself from further frustration, heartache and init ng ulo, I am not going to write about my emotional state. I am just feeling too vulnerable at this time to read comments like that, it just makes my blood pressure rise. This is an act of self-preservation. I know my limits, I know my weaknesses. I don't want to pretend things are OK when they're actually not. Especially when it is in MY SPACE.