CONSOLATION

My sunshine boy. Thank God for blessings like him. He has been my constant companion for the past 5 days since Edge and Diego have been gone. Luis has not given me a moment of strife. Last Sunday, we ate lunch at Penrith mall, and he asked for, of course, his 3-nugget Happy Meal. I ate, of course, Honey Chicken, and he ended up eating some of my rice, and asking for some of my chicken when he had finished his. Then I took him to several stores while I did some "shopping-shopping". He would dart in and out of the clothes racks, shouting once in a while, "Mama? Where are you?" with a worried expression on his face. Once his eyes come into contact with mine, that expression melts and turns into his sunshine smile. I was so grateful to him, that he allowed me my retail therapy that day, because I was feeling very, very down that day.

Meals have not been a problem. At first, he insisted on having chicken nuggets for dinner every night. From the very first night, I said no, chicken nuggets were to be eaten for breakfast only. He said, "But Dada lets me eat chicken nuggets." I told him, "I'm sorry, I'm not Dada." He put on his "tampo" face (as if that will work with me), and said in a "tampo" voice, "Fine, I don't love you anymore!" (as if that would work with me!) I told him, he could eat the ulam we had the night before, or he could have the paksiw given by Tito Jim. Later on, he relented and said he'd eat the paksiw. After taking one spoonful, he declared, "Mama, I like this!" and finished up the whole plate! It's now the 5th day, and he has finally accepted that chicken nuggets are for breakfast only. Explanation: If I don't set down that rule, he would eat chicken nuggets for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Last night, Tito Jim called and Luis was the one who answered the phone. I heard Luis tell Tito Jim, "When you're finished talking to Mama, I'll talk to you OK?" then he gave the phone to me. I talked to Tito Jim, then after talking for a few minutes, we said goodbye and put the phone down. When Luis realized what I had done, he burst into tears, saying, "I wanted to talk to that boy!" He was inconsolable. I called Tito Jim back, but he was talking to someone and said he'd call Luis back. This made Luis cry even more. He agreed that I should call Tita Reggie. They talked for a few minutes, but Luis was just too distraught to talk, all he could muster were sobs over the phone. I had to keep telling Luis, "Say 'yes', she can't see you nodding your head!" Then I took the phone to talk to Tita Reggie, which made Luis cry even louder. Tita Reggie told me to attend to Luis and so we put down the phone. Luis was still so upset, and he said in a really kawawa voice, "I don't love you anymore...." Tito Jim called a little while later and talked to Luis. Again, sobs and nods, and even louder bawling when we had to put the phone down. I hugged him and stroked his head and told him to go to sleep. He was starting to calm down. I whispered in his ear that I loved him. I told him that I'd love him forever, even if he says he doesn't love me. I told him that even if he told me that, I knew that he really did love me. His reply surprised me so much, and brought tears to my eyes. He looked up into my eyes, and said, breaking into tears, "I'm sorry Mama!" I asked him, "Why are you saying sorry?" He told me, "Because I said I don't love you..." I told him not to worry about it, and I sang to him his favorite bedtime song, "Beautiful Boy". I was so surprised about Luis' insight into his behaviour. He is such a smart boy.

Then there are the times that he suddenly comes up to me and says, "Mama.....I love you!" and he says, "Your kisses make me happy!" and we cuddle in bed and kiss each other all over the face, and give each other butterfly kisses. When he wakes up in the morning, he always has a smile on his face. His firt words usually are, "Mama, I slept in your bed!" That is the best part of Edge's and Diego's absence for him, he gets to sleep on my bed the whole night. Then he gets up and gamely gets ready for school (daycare). And of course, he gets his chicken nuggets for breakfast.

I'm so glad I have my sunshine boy with me. It makes the difficulty of being apart from my two other loved ones a lot easier. I'm looking forward to another round of butterfly kisses tonight!