Les Miserables - Moi et Moi!

I have been so miserable these past 17 days. I just try to fill up my days with stuff to do so the days will pass quickly. Actually, when there is work, time flies really fast. Then I realize at the end of the day, I better hurry and pick up Luis from daycare, otherwise, I'm going to pay a hefty fine. Then I go home to a lonely house where I have to cook, wash dishes, give Luis a bath, and put him to bed. All by my lonesome. Kaya naman. Nakakalungkot lang talaga.







It's been especially hard because there have been (there's one more coming up) so many holidays in the past two weeks, plus my two days off. Usually, when I have a day off, we do something together, but now there's no one to do anything with. Anyway, I've been filling my days by visiting relatives and friends. I've done the rounds, I've visited everyone at least once na. Tomorrow I'm starting on round 2. I will visit Chinny in the morning, because it's her birthday, and then I might meet up with Oli and her girls who want to go shopping in the city.






I just want this month to be over. I want my life to go back to normal. I want Edge to start working na, so our life can get started. I feel like I'm in limbo right now. The kitchen looks like a refugee camp. The dinner table is pushed against the sliding doors. The bottles of juice are lined up on the table so we don't have to keep opening the pantry door. Two chairs are pushed into the table, the other two are pushed against the other wall. I want to move out of this house. This house is such a transition house. I want to move into a house I can LIVE in. I want to move into a house I can start decorating and calling my own. I want to live in a house where I feel comfortable inviting people over. I want to live in a house that has enough chairs to seat all my guests, at the very least!

I just want Edge and Diego to come back na. I want everything back to normal. I feel so out of balance with the two of them away. To make matters worse, Diego doesn't even want to talk to me on the phone. He is having so much fun with his cousins, he just can't be bothered to talk to his boring old mother. It sure feels like the Sydney chapter of the Gutierrez family outweighs the US chapter in the missing department. Luis misses his brother so much. Diego is just so happy to get away from him.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I-will-die-without-them, it's just I feel incomplete. I'm functioning, I'm surviving, but I am not at ease. You know how a mother bird isn't at ease until all the chicks have returned to the nest? That's how I feel. It just feels much safer when everyone is in the same city.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE


Luis has now officially entered his "Blues Clues" phase. He wants me to buy him a notebook, and a green shirt "with those straight lines" (stripes). During his free time, he sings the final song in "Blues Clues" complete with Steve's choreography. It was bad enough when he wanted to be a "Wiggles" when he grows up, now he wants to be Steve! Steve is such a geek pa naman! But really, it's so cute when he does his song-and-dance. I was telling Edge about it nga over the phone and we both came to the conclusion that we really have to save up for a video camera.