THIS IS ME!

Some people have said my standards are too high. I agree. But I don’t agree with the “too” part. I think, why shouldn’t your standards be high? Why should you settle for something mediocre when you can push yourself to do more? Why would anyone not strive to improve himself? When you don’t push yourself, you’ll never know what you can achieve. When you aim low, then you will never get out of the pit. Besides, in my family, we wouldn't consider our standards high, for us, this is normal.

I am especially tough on values that have been passed on to me by my mom. And I want to pass these on to my kids as well. These are just some of them, I am so sure there are a lot more, they're just not coming to mind right now.

I am for complete honesty. I am trying to teach my kids that honesty is always the best policy, especially when it comes to telling their mother the truth. I tell them that if they tell the truth about something bad they did, they would still get a punishment but if they lied and then their indiscretion was uncovered, their punishment would be doubled. And it better be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I want my sons to learn integrity and telling the truth in spite of the consequences, or to tell the truth so there won’t be any consequences. Hopefully later on, they will tell the truth just because it is the right thing to do. I am not claiming that I have never told a lie in my life, but I do try to be honest all the time. I guess it’s also because I am such a bad liar. I start to get queasy when I tell a lie, even if it is a teeny tiny lie, especially if I am lying to a superior.

Fidelity. That is on the top of my list when it comes to marriage. I demand complete and total fidelity because I give my complete and total fidelity as well. I am not a martyr and will leave in an instant if there is any hint of any kind of infidelity, and Edge knows this.

Respect. I respect people in general and try to think the best of each person I meet. The problem is, when I think the best of each person, then that means that my standards for that person are high too. My feeling is, if I lower my standards for you, that means I don’t think much of you, and I may feel that you cannot meet those standards. That means you are not competent. Therefore, I also expect that people respect me. I mean, I know that I have to earn that respect too, so I try to be as “respectable” as I can. So I get disappointed when people don’t respect me, when I have shown them respect all along.

I generally follow the golden rule. I try to do things to other people that I would like other people to do to me. And I avoid doing things to other people that I wouldn't want them to do to me. I make a conscious effort not to hurt people intentionally, even people I don't like, because I really don’t like getting hurt. So much so that sometimes I lose debates and arguments because I ALWAYS try to see things from the other person’s point of view, and so that derails my arguments and sometimes I lose my resolve to push for what I want. Oh well. But the important thing is, I try to do good to people as a general rule. I guess that is why all of my jobs have been in the helping professions. I like helping people get out of holes that they put themselves into. I like helping people, period. I think it is because it was such a good feeling when I was in a hole and someone who didn’t have to came and helped me.


I believe men and women are equal. Just because someone is a man doesn’t mean that he is smarter than a woman, more capable, a better leader. But being a woman also doesn’t mean that these things come automatically. There are just people who are good leaders, other people who are smarter than others, other people who are more capable, and being a man or a woman has nothing to do with it. So if someone is good at something, give the job to them. And I therefore believe that in a marriage, husband and wife are partners, meaning, they are equals. No one bows to the other. They should discuss things and put their marriage as one of their highest priorities. I hate that stereotype of the “under da saya” husband, and I hate it when I see husbands control their wives’ every move. I hate it when husbands call their wives “commander” or “boss”. I think they are demeaning themselves when they do that, and they are insulting their wives as well. It is so obviously sarcastic, and not a sign of respect. I hate it when society accepts that men have mistresses, especially when they say, “Eh, lalaki kasi siya, what do you expect?” This is where high standards come in. If you have low expectations, then you would probably use that line. But I am never going to accept that statement and similar ones as well.

I value my family very much. My dream since I was a child was to have a close and happy family. To have a family that respects, loves and nurtures one another and loves being in each other's company. I've always wanted a marital relationship that was strong, passionate, and full of love and happiness. I don't claim to have the perfect marriage, far from it, but we're working on it! I will fight for my family to the death. If anyone tries to get in the way, watch out. I am a Misa, and I have Cavitena blood in me as well!

I am an independent woman. I don’t need a man to survive, but I want a man by my side. I experienced a month of being a single mom, first time in my life that this has happened, and it is really difficult! It is such a juggling act! Life is really much easier if you have a partner to share the struggles and burdens with. But if I really had to be alone, I think I could muster up the strength to do that (that’s precisely what I did this past month!). My mom told me when I was growing up that I should not base my self-esteem on any man. I should not base my identity on any man. All this should come from me. I still remember she told me not to choose my college course just because your boyfriend would be taking that course too. She taught me that I should never allow myself to be enslaved by any man, to show myself some respect. She taught me that I should never allow any man to lay a hand on me. It was clear to me since I was younger, that if any guy ever hit me, that would mean goodbye right then and there. No explanations, no sorries. Goodbye. Good riddance. She told me when I was a teenager, that if I ever got pregnant (premaritally), I would keep the baby, but she would not let me get married to the sperm donor. She told me that if he truly loved me, he would wait until I was 21, and then he could marry me. She said she would help me take care of the baby. Of course this was all moot and academic because I had my first boyfriend when I was 20, and I was, and still am, such a straight person.

Yes, I am super straight. Straight as an arrow. I have never smoked, I don’t like drinking, I’ve never tried drugs and don’t see the need for it. I figure, there are many people out there who are trying so hard to kick these habits, why should I even try them then? I don't see the point of taking things that endanger your health, shorten your life span and give you wrinkles and a bad complexion and black gums. I don't see the need to do things that take you further away from your Higher Power. I don't see why people resist going to a higher level. (I am not saying people who do these things are uselessor hopeless or anything like that. I'm just saying I don't understand their motivation in doing so.

So this is me. Super straight. I have always presented myself as such. I have never pretended to be anything else. I have my faults, and you may think that this is one of them. You may find me boring and uninteresting. You may find me admirable. You may find me rigid and annoyingly self-righteous. You may find me mature for my age. Whatever. Love me or leave me. I am aspiring for sainthood, or legendary idealist heroine, what can I say? I'm proud of who I am.